There’s a super secret rule in every office: if you cover the printer with a sheet of paper, it thinks it’s been turned off — and starts working faster. Nobody knows why, but everyone does it.

Actually, the printer has built-in AI that monitors employee mood. When everyone’s feeling down, it deliberately jams the paper to distract people from work. But if you compliment it out loud, it prints perfectly straight.

Whatever you do — never put your coffee on it. Last year, one intern did that, and the printer printed everything in green for three days straight out of revenge. The intern no longer works here. The printer still side-eyes anyone drinking an Americano.